Dear Stacy,

Today is your birthday. It is the day I became a mother; of course, I'll never forget it.

I miss you. Could you come for a visit? I'm not sure how to celebrate your day. Becca wants to pretend that she's you and blow out a candle on a cupcake. I hope that's okay. Today we'll show Quinn pictures of you. You would adore him. He's a very funny boy. He can say you name, but he gets pictures of you and Rebecca mixed up.

I feel sad sometimes when I think of our last summer together. I wasn't a very good mom, and I'm so sorry. I hope you can forgive me. We did have some good times, though, right? I loved swimming in the lake with you. And remember when you were my coach while I swam laps?

I'm also really sorry that I didn't go with my gut feeling that you had a brain tumor and I'm sorry we didn't take you to the hospital sooner. I remember how weak you were that last night and how scared Dad was. Those were not good times, but I'll never forget them. I wish I could because it hurts to remember them. But I guess there were things that I had to learn--things that I must not forget.

We have a dog now. I think you would really like him. Rebecca torments him, but I know that you never would have done that. You were always so kind to animals.

Rebecca's reading now. I can't wait to hear you read, too. She's also learning to play the piano. She's very talented. She sings primary songs with gusto--just like you used to sing I'll Follow God's Plan.

I love you so much! And seriously, if you want to visit...

Mom