It is a curious thing, the death of a loved one. We all know that our time in this world is limited, and that eventually all of us will end up underneath some sheet, never to wake up. And yet it is always a surprise when it happens to someone we know. It is like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark, and thinking there is one more stair than there is. Your foot falls down, through the air, and there is a sickly moment of dark surprise as you try and readjust the way you thought of things.

- Lemony Snicket

People are linked with Stacy. She has a lot of friends from before the world was--noble, strong friends. The people who knew her remember her and love her. And then there are people who wish that they could have known her...

Working Against Us (inspired by Stephanie, the author of the Daily Scoop)

People go when they are meant to go. Here are a few things that were working against us to allow God's will to be done in bringing Stacy home.

1. We did not have our own place. The basement, which was meant to be our little home for the summer was flooded and turned into a scary place, so Stacy wasn't sleeping well. Sleep loss can cause headaches.

2. We had an erratic schedule because we didn't have our own place.

3. We were in the middle of the chaos of a big transition and a big move.

4. We thought we didn't have health insurance.

5. I'm nearsighted. Nearsightedness is often a cause of headaches in early readers.

6. Stacy had just started school and was exposed to all kinds of new germs, etc.

Stacy at the Bronx Zoo--2005

Dear Stacy,

Today is your birthday. It is the day I became a mother; of course, I'll never forget it.

I miss you. Could you come for a visit? I'm not sure how to celebrate your day. Becca wants to pretend that she's you and blow out a candle on a cupcake. I hope that's okay. Today we'll show Quinn pictures of you. You would adore him. He's a very funny boy. He can say you name, but he gets pictures of you and Rebecca mixed up.

I feel sad sometimes when I think of our last summer together. I wasn't a very good mom, and I'm so sorry. I hope you can forgive me. We did have some good times, though, right? I loved swimming in the lake with you. And remember when you were my coach while I swam laps?

I'm also really sorry that I didn't go with my gut feeling that you had a brain tumor and I'm sorry we didn't take you to the hospital sooner. I remember how weak you were that last night and how scared Dad was. Those were not good times, but I'll never forget them. I wish I could because it hurts to remember them. But I guess there were things that I had to learn--things that I must not forget.

We have a dog now. I think you would really like him. Rebecca torments him, but I know that you never would have done that. You were always so kind to animals.

Rebecca's reading now. I can't wait to hear you read, too. She's also learning to play the piano. She's very talented. She sings primary songs with gusto--just like you used to sing I'll Follow God's Plan.

I love you so much! And seriously, if you want to visit...

Mom

Today I was sitting and watching a movie and I found ribbons that daughter #2 had pulled out of her hair. I started weeping because I remember Stacy's and my trip to the ribbon and trimmings store in Manhattan. We bought so many ribbons there for her hair. Her beautiful blonde hair She really liked the wild look though, so she rarely wore her ribbons even though she thought they were pretty. Thank you Jaime for going to the ribbon store that day.